How to date a Russian woman: key rules and practical tips

          Important Note:

          This article is primarily aimed at foreign men and Russian women who intend to build their relationships and families in Russia, rather than in Western countries. Typically, this means that the Russian woman will speak little to no English or other languages besides Russian. Therefore, if a foreign man wants to meet a Russian woman with the aim of starting a family and living in Russia, he must learn Russian. Knowledge of Russian is also a requirement for obtaining permanent residency. To learn Russian, you can use this free resource: https://www.russianforfree.com/. We also recommend a professional Russian language teacher, Anastasia Gagarina: https://www.facebook.com/Nastya.RussianTutorOnline/.

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          Recently, the number of subscribers to our Facebook group "Immigrate to Russia" has been increasing rapidly. We gain 3-5 new members daily, most of whom are single men seeking advice on meeting Russian women. In light of this growing interest, we are sharing some key rules to ensure you secure a second date.

          1. Russian women are perpetually young. When addressing a Russian woman you don’t know, the only acceptable term is “devushka,” which translates to “young woman.” Even if she is in her late fifties, she is still a “devushka.” Any other term could not only upset her but also be seen as an insult.

          2. Always pay the bill. In Russia, it's expected that the man will pick up the tab on dates, even if she was the one who invited you and ordered a five-course meal while you had just a coffee. Unlike in Paris or New York, where splitting the bill is common, attempting this in Moscow may lead her to think you’re stingy. She might even do a pretend reach for her wallet to offer to pay, but don’t fall for it – it’s a test.

          3. Carry the bags. Feminism is often left at home when Russian women go shopping. If there are two bags, and one is heavier, you should take both. Ideally, you should aim to ensure she carries nothing but her purse.

          4. Give her your full attention. Compared to Western women, Russian women are more open to and expect acts of chivalry. Opening car doors, helping her with her coat, and letting her enter or exit first are customary gestures that make a good impression. However, when it comes to elevators, men are supposed to enter first, possibly to ensure safety if the elevator isn’t functioning.

          5. Bring flowers, but avoid even numbers. In Russia, even numbers of flowers are reserved for funerals. Modern florists say you’re safe if the number exceeds a dozen, but it's best to stick to odd numbers or buy so many that counting is impossible.

          6. Russian women have the right to be late – it's almost a rule. If she’s 10-15 minutes late, she’s essentially on time by local standards. Reasons for tardiness vary, from understandable (traffic or work) to less so (indecision over shoes) to absurd (waiting around the corner to avoid seeming too eager). It’s pointless to probe for reasons, and doing so may come off as rude. Just smile and express your happiness to see her, even if it’s getting dark and you’re cold.

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          I also asked my wife Irina to share her personal experiences and those of her female friends. She has provided valuable insights into the cultural nuances, mentality, and preferences of Russian women when it comes to dating and building relationships with men.

          Here are Irina's tips:

          1. Online Dating:

          When meeting online, you lack the full picture—photos and descriptions can't convey everything. To avoid unpleasant surprises, arrange video chats via WhatsApp, Skype, Telegram, etc., or meet in person. This helps you better evaluate her appearance, manners, mental state, and suitability. Use your intuition, as some women may seem appealing online but unsuitable in reality.

          For instance, a friend of mine, attractive with big tear-filled eyes, would immediately burden men with her problems on the first date, despite having no serious issues, and expected them to pay her debts. This drove men away after one or two dates. No one wants to take on a stranger's problems, so it's best to avoid such women.

          Another friend met a seemingly nice man online, but on the first date, she found him very short and felt awkward. He brought an enormous bouquet of white roses, which was overwhelming for a first date. She didn't like him immediately, feeling he was better suited for someone more petite.

          Yet another friend met a man who seemed fine in appearance and age, but their conversation revealed completely opposite desires. She wanted to live in a house and grow vegetables, while he preferred city life. Such differences only became apparent after meeting in person.

          Start practicing online communication with several women to gain experience and better understand yourself and Russian women.

          2. The First Date:

          Bring one flower on the first date. Since you haven't met in real life, one flower, typically a rose, is a simple gesture that doesn't obligate anything and won't wilt during your date. Coming without a flower can slightly dampen a woman's mood. Flowers are essential for Russian women, and one flower is enough for the first meeting.

          Russian women generally do not support feminism. If a woman arrives in a skirt or a beautiful dress with shoes, she is definitely not a feminist. Feminism is not widely embraced among Russian women, especially those from smaller towns who are less likely to date online. Therefore, showing masculine qualities like giving flowers or paying for coffee and pastries in a café is considered normal. It is rare for a woman to suggest splitting the bill; usually, only younger women who want to feel independent might do so. However, even independent women generally appreciate when a man pays.

          First dates usually happen in inexpensive places like cafes, outdoor terraces, or ice cream stands. During the conversation, ask general questions about work, studies, family, previous marriages, children, pets, etc. Initial conversations often involve such informational questions about the person.

          Women over 30 tend to order modestly on the first date to avoid burdening their companion, opting for coffee or a simple dish. They fear dependency. However, younger women may feel no such restraint and order lavishly. It is polite to help pay for activities like carousels or park visits. Offering a helping hand, opening doors, or assisting with heavy bags is seen as positive and gentlemanly.

          Finally, ask for her phone number and permission to call. If she gives her number, she likely enjoyed the date, and you can hope for a second one.

          3. The First Kiss:

          The first date is usually introductory. Kissing on the cheek is acceptable on the first or second date, while a serious kiss on the lips is generally reserved for the third date.

          4. The Second Date:

          On the second date, inquire if the woman can cook. Most Russian women can cook well. If she doesn't cook, ask why – she might have a housekeeper, indicating a wealthy background, which requires consideration of whether you can match her lifestyle. Also, find out her dietary preferences and habits, as well as any unhealthy habits like smoking or attitudes towards alcohol. Discuss hobbies, preferences for urban or rural living, and other personal interests. Be more open about yourself, but still avoid discussing sex.

          5. When to Discuss Sex:

          The topic of sex should ideally be brought up no earlier than the fifth date, with the seventh date being optimal. By then, the initial courtship period is over, and it is a good time to discuss and consider sexual relations. Trust your intuition on this timing.

          6. Practical Tips for Finding Your Soulmate:

          Take a piece of paper and write down a list of positive qualities you desire your future partner to have, and don't forget to include a few negative qualities that you are willing to tolerate. Remember there are no perfect people. For example, if you want someone who cooks, note that. This helps the universe align with your requests and bring the right person into your life. This method has proven effective for many.

          7. Resolving Psychological Issues:

          If relationships are not working out, consider two options:

          7.1. Take a break from dating and see a psychologist to work through any hidden issues that may be repelling women. Psychologists can provide insights and guidance on finding the right partner.

          7.2. Alternatively, seek advice from friends or confidants who can offer opinions and suggestions. Russian people are generally open and willing to help with their advice.

          8. If the Woman has Children:

          If a woman has young children living with her, get to know them and see if you can connect. It is important for a woman to see how a man interacts with her children, and he does not need to love them but should treat them well.

          9. A few words of Russian Women's Mentality:

          Russian women are very caring, not only cooking nutritious meals but also tending to treat their husbands’ minor ailments at home. This care extends to their children and involves mutual help among neighbors or friends. When serious injuries occur, they usually go to a free medical center, and family members take turns caring for the injured person at home.
          Additionally, Russian women are unpredictable and spontaneous, ensuring that life with them is never boring. :)

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          I hope these tips from my wife Irina and her friends will be helpful to you. In addition to the above, I would like to add a few words about marriage agencies and dating websites.

          10. Meeting through marriage agencies and dating sites:

          After the collapse of the Soviet Union, many Russian women sought to marry foreigners to escape Russia during the economic hardships of the 90s. As a result, numerous matchmaking agencies and dating sites emerged. Based on my experience running such agencies in Russia and New Zealand, I must note that many women on these sites aim to charm a foreigner, marry, obtain residency abroad, and then divorce. Some stay in Russia and exploit foreigners financially.

          Therefore, I do not recommend using traditional dating sites or matchmaking agencies due to the prevalence of fake and fraudulent profiles. Instead, I suggest specialized websites and social media groups dedicated to creating family estates (Kins domains), as presented in Vladimir Megre’s "Ringing Cedars of Russia" books. These platforms have good reputations and serious intentions for finding a partner to create a family in Russia.

          I recommend the site: https://anastasia.ru/faq/1649/ and the VK group: https://vk.com/poiskpolovinki. These platforms offer detailed profiles where women describe their skills, lifestyle, and partner expectations. This is how I met my wife Irina after returning to Russia in 2008. In addition to online dating, you can also attend annual Festival of Soulmates in the South of Russia "Two Hearts - One Melody" in ecovillage Vedrussia and the Festival of Positive Creation in Vozrozhdeniee village  - these are great opportunities to meet your destiny! More information and videos from the festivals can be found here .  

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          Attention!

        If you are facing challenges with the Russian language, posting your profile, finding websites and thematic groups for your profile, or if you have doubts about the sincerity of the girl you are corresponding with, please reach out to us – we are always happy to help! We offer a range of paid services:

          1.  A well-crafted, unique, and beautifully written profile, paired with professional photos, draws significantly more attention. Simply provide us with your information in English along with a few photos, and we'll create a compelling profile tailored just for you. Cost :10 USD per profile.

          2. Simply provide us with your profile in English along with your photos, and we'll translate it into Russian and post it, with photos, on selected websites and social groups. Cost: $50 for posting on 10 websites and/or social groups.

          3. Online consultations via Whatsapp or Telegram. Cost: 50 USD per 1 hour.

          4. Correspondence support includes translating letters between Russian and English and monitoring your new acquaintances for potential fraud by analyzing your communications. Cost: $100 per month.

          5. Comprehensive soulmate search package: includes profile creation, translation and posting on selected websites and social groups (upto 20), fraud monitoring, translation of correspondence between Russian and English, and legal support for visa applications and other necessary documents for marriage in Russia. Cost: $500 for 6 months of service.

          For all inquiries, contact Yuri at [email protected] or on Telegram: @ecominded .

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          FYI, a few facts about modern Russia as of July 2024.

          1. Over the past 20 years, thanks to the efforts and competent leadership of V. Putin, Russia's economy has been fully restored and continues to grow rapidly. New factories, including those producing high-tech equipment, are actively being built, leading to a significant shortage of IT specialists. As a result, a law was passed to simplify and expedite the process of obtaining Russian citizenship for foreign IT specialists.

          2. Despite unprecedented sanctions from Western countries, Russians still have access to all imported goods, including sanctioned ones, thanks to the timely law on so-called "parallel imports" enacted by V. Putin. It can be confidently stated that Western sanctions are virtually unfelt within Russia.

          3. Most of the oil that Russia used to supply to Europe is now purchased by India. The remaining volume of Russian oil is bought by China, North Korea, and other Asian countries. Thus, despite the sanctions, the total volume of Russian oil exports remains at pre-sanction levels.

          4. Friendly relations, economic, and political ties between Russia and countries in Africa, the Middle East, as well as India, China, North Korea, and others are actively developing. The combined population of these countries constitutes more than two-thirds of the world's population. Therefore, attempts by Western countries to isolate Russia from the global community have completely failed.

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